The Present of Presence
By Tana M. Mann Easton, Lead Efficiency Engineer
When I was younger, I was watching an episode of Oprah, and she stated that all a child wants to see is if your eyes light up when they enter the room. I think I was still a child myself when I heard her say that, and the claim rang true to me. As I get older, I realize that the statement doesn’t only apply to children. Even the adults in our lives want to feel that there are people who really see them and are excited by their existence. As we’re diving into the season of giving, I wanted to share some thoughts on the greatest gift we can give every day – true presence.
The ubiquitous plethora of screens in our lives and their ease of use have made it very easy to check out and not be present with the people who are important to us. But people are our best use of time. So I like to have certain guidelines for myself to make sure that I pull away from my enticing screens and connect in the real world with my people. With my spouse and especially with my son, I make a concerted effort to really pay attention to them during transitional periods through the day. Those periods are waking up, leaving for school/work, coming home from school/work, and going to bed. During these four times of the day, I make sure that I put my phone or any other work to the side, look at my loved one with true excitement in my eyes, and tell them how much I love them in some form. Usually these times of connection are less than 5 minutes, but they’re a bare minimum easy way for me to make sure that my people see that my eyes light up when they enter the room and they matter.
Other guidelines that I’ve found useful are: making sure I don’t have my phone out when sitting down to a meal with people, making eye contact when people ask me questions, saying yes when my child asks me to play, and scheduling outings and vacations and really experiencing that time in real life and not constantly taking pictures.
During this holiday season, I’m going to try to remember that my best present is presence. The gift of my full focus will probably leave a more lasting impression than any present I could wrap. We all just want to know that we matter. I encourage you to find the moments of full attention you can shower on the loved ones in your life as well.
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Sincerely Yours,
Focus to Evolve Team