Deep Dive Series: It’s Never Too Late (or Early) to Learn the Power of No
By Tana M. Mann Easton, Lead Efficiency Engineer
Michelle Obama has a new podcast with her brother, Craig Robinson. In it they share the life lessons that have helped them navigate the world. Their April 23rd episode guest was Taraji P. Henson, and the overriding topic of the interview was the necessity to learn to say no.
Taraji P. Henson said no is her favorite word, and it’s a very powerful word that she learned around the age of 45. She notes that if she says yes to something that isn’t right for her, that other person may be happy, but she is left to carry something that doesn’t feel right inside herself.
In listening to a few podcasts that Michelle Obama has done lately, it seems like this lesson of “no” is really hitting home for her these days as well. She talks about how she feels so blessed with what she has in her life. And she’s always worked from a “to whom much is given, much is required” mentality. So, she has always felt pressure to give and give and give and always say yes. I can’t imagine how much that inclination would be exacerbated by being the First Lady of the United States for 8 years. But she stresses that in her 60’s, she is finally learning the practice of no. She’s in therapy and thinking about the example she is setting for her daughters by always striving to do more and never feeling like she has done or is enough, and she wants them to practice no earlier in their lives. She wants her daughters and all people to learn to build that muscle of no. And surprise, the world doesn’t stop turning if she says no.
Both Michelle Obama and Taraji P. Henson stress that you don’t have to wait until you’re in your forties or sixties to learn how to say no to the things that don’t feel right for your life. These women are influential, powerful, intelligent, in demand human beings telling us they wish they had learned the lesson of no sooner. Take the hint, listen to your elders, build the no muscle in your own life…now.
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Sincerely Yours,
Focus to Evolve Team