Deep Dive Series: The Power of No with a Bouncer
By Tana M. Mann Easton, Lead Efficiency Engineer
On the April 29th episode of Work Life with Adam Grant, Adam interviewed Sherry Liu, a content creator and recovering people pleaser. During Sherry’s first job in corporate America, she found herself saying yes to every request that came her way. But all of that work was secretarial or work that nobody else wanted to do or work that had no impact. Sherry worked hard and got to a point when she wanted a promotion. Sherry’s manager recognized she was working hard, but it was all for other people’s projects and she needed a project that she could own. Sherry explained her lack of time to do anything additional because of all the support she was giving others, and her manager let her know that she would have to learn how to start saying no. So, Sherry requested her manager’s assistance. She very clearly delineated what her priorities were and explained that she would need time in order to work on those priorities. She stated she would need to say no to requests that were not in line with those priorities and that she would need to rely on her manager to have her back and shield her from non-priority work. In effect, Sherry basically enlisted her manager to be her professional bouncer. The manager was the muscle who had her back when she needed to push back on requests coming her way that she shouldn’t be doing.
If you’re a hopeless people pleaser, do you have someone to enlist to be your professional bouncer – a manager, an influential leader, a mentor? Shery found saying no easier when she had her manager’s back up. Clarifying your own priorities and bringing your bouncer on board to uphold those priorities may be a helpful way to break out of your own people-pleasing, never-say-no tendencies.
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Sincerely Yours,
Focus to Evolve Team