Deep Dive Series: The Power of No By Switching to a Pause
By Tana M. Mann Easton, Lead Efficiency Engineer
For many people pleasers, the reflex of automatically saying yes to every request as soon as one is made is so ingrained that it feels like an unbreakable habit. But if your people pleasing ways are getting in the way of you actually pleasing yourself, then here’s a tool to experiment with saying no.
Instead of immediately saying sure you can borrow my dress, sure I’ll come help you clean out your basement, etc. – switch to a pause. Tell the requester, let me get back to you on that. This pause buys you some time to reflect, and you’ll feel less pressure to say yes to doing something you really don’t want to do. Later you can text the requester (especially if telling them in person or calling is too hard for you) and decline their invitation because you’re booked.
Make it a rule for yourself, when a request is made, unless it’s a hell yes, you always pause. Gone are the days when yes’s were automatically given in order to avoid discomfort. We pause and reflect now in order to more authentically walk our own true path.
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Sincerely Yours,
Focus to Evolve Team