Deep Dive Series: The Power of No to Bring Closeness or Clarity
By Tana M. Mann Easton, Lead Efficiency Engineer
The holidays are often a time for gathering. And in these gatherings, there may be people that we feel uncomfortable being around for one reason or another. If that discomfort grows to the point where we would rather not be around that person at all, but we still value that relationship, then perhaps it’s time to say no to that dynamic and have a conversation about the unease.
Most people fear confrontational conversations. But instead of fear, try framing the conversation a different way. Frame the conversation as a solution. After you explain how you feel and what you need, you’ll gain either closeness or clarity. Either the person will hear you and endeavor to repair the relationship, bringing you closer. Or the person will be unreceptive to your feedback, and that clarity can help you make a true decision on whether you want to move forward with that person in your orbit or not.
People can’t read our minds. But once we’ve made our preferences plain, then we have the data on whether people respect our feelings and preferences or not. So say no to the fear and discomfort, and say yes to closeness or clarity.
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Sincerely Yours,
Focus to Evolve Team