Deep Dive Series: The Power of No to Keep the Holidays Jolly
By Tana M. Mann Easton, Lead Efficiency Engineer
Has the holiday season gone from fun and joyful to chaotic and stressful in your family? If so, give this exercise a try…
Sit down and brainstorm all of the activities that you think you should do during the last few weeks of the year. Include everything – baking, sledding, driving to see lights around town, local tree lighting ceremony, church services and programs, charity volunteering, shopping trips, school activities, work parties, family gatherings, special concerts or shows, movie nights, etc. Once you have your list, if it’s huge, realize that you cannot do it all. Fitting all of these events into a finite amount of time is what causes the chaos and stress we sometimes feel at year-end. Once you’ve come to terms with this limitation, circle the activities that are priorities for you and your family. You’ll probably have to say no to a number of activities if they’re not part of the priority list, even if they’ve been traditions in the past. For example, maybe you’ve always taken the kids to see the Nutcracker at year-end, but now that the kids are older and they’ve seen it ten times, they’re not really interested in doing that anymore. Or maybe you used to make 20 different baked goods as a family, but you decide to make the most requested three this year. Once you’ve made your priority and “not happening this year” lists, start drafting a calendar for when those priority activities can happen. Place the activities that can only possibly happen at one time (like a Christmas Eve candlelight service or a town tree lighting ceremony or work parties). Then plot the activities that can only happen on weekends. And then fill in everything else on your calendar. Keep in mind, you’re trying to make your holidays feel less stressful, so don’t overload yourself. Make sure you have downtime to rest. This calendar you create will further help you say no. If someone asks you to participate in an activity that is not a priority this year, then you’ll be able to truthfully look at your calendar and let them know that time is unavailable.
The holidays don’t have to feel like an out-of-control time. With some planning and practicing with the word no, you can settle into a more relaxing and jollier year-end.
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Sincerely Yours,
Focus to Evolve Team