Show Up For Yourself
By Tana M. Mann Easton, Lead Efficiency Engineer
For many people, the idea of cancelling on short notice or no showing for an appointment with another person is unthinkable. If they promise their attendance for a dentist appointment or a coffee date catch up with a friend or a school play for their child, then that appointment is going on their calendar and it will happen. Aversions to inconveniencing another person or breaking a promise to a loved one help us keep our appointments with others. But when it comes to the appointments we make with ourselves, we don’t always show up.
Imagine I have a goal to put together a new training presentation at work, so I set aside more deep work time during my days. I put blocks on my calendar for these deep work sessions. But then an evite comes into my inbox requesting some of the time in those blocks. I move my deep work block and accept that invitation because I feel like I should. Then an email comes in from a colleague asking for time during the new time block for deep work. Again, I say yes because I’m a people pleaser. A couple more evites come in and soon there is no more room on my calendar for those deep work time blocks. By saying yes to everyone’s requests, I have just failed to show up for myself. My goal (which feels like the biggest contribution I could make in my job) to develop that new training presentation has been superseded by everyone else’s requests. And some, if not most, of those requests don’t actually require my presence now or at all.
This is my wild and precious life. If I don’t prioritize my time, other people will do it for me with their priorities. I get to choose what does and doesn’t get my attention. I can choose to show up for myself. I can see that block for deep work on my calendar as an appointment with the future people who will benefit from the training presentation that I am taking the time now to develop. I can say no to evites during that appointment with myself and suggest new times or alternatives if I really do think I’m needed there as well. I can show up for myself as reliably, if not more so, than I show up for everyone else to whom I pledge my time.
If you or your team would like to sign up for our 2 hour Balance and Productivity training to instantly double your meaningful output and find the feeling of lasting flow and optimized work life balance, please email me at tana@focustoevolve.com and say hello!
With Sincere Gratitude,
Tana at Focus to Evolve